****************** Title: Tiny Mistakes Author: Morgan R. (Lshallot@juno.com) URL: http://www.geocities.com/crimsonclad/fanfic.htm, http://www.escribe.com/movies/bbf/search.html?query=lshallot&mt=&th=&c=30 Rated: PG-13 Summary: Cordelia gets fed up with Angel's behavior. Spoilers: The Trial Feedback: I would love it, listen to it, keep it forever. Disclaimer: WB et al own everything and everyone Note: I am so tired of Angel blowing everyone off. No excuses. NEW AUTHOR'S NOTE: I posted this before Reunion. Starting to think I went soft on him, because man, I want to hit him... ****************** "Okay, as tiny mistakes go, that's *not* one." -- Cordelia, "To Shanshu in LA" **** Angel heard Cordelia's footsteps on the stairs, and the corners of his mouth turned even farther down. He wasn't in the mood for a lecture, for sympathy, even for a vision. He wanted to stare in to the darkness and find some sort of numbness he could cling to with his tired hands. Her footsteps had stopped, but he could smell her perfume, and he realized she was still standing outside. She was probably trying to figure out how to approach him. She could knock softly, timidly, or rap on the wood firmly, opting for the strength she found in irritation. Angel growled. It was more out of anticipation than anger, but he heard a sharp intake of breath outside his door. Though she didn't sound surprised, exactly- It was then that he realized her breathing had been uneven ever since her first approach. He was on the verge of stalking over to yank the door open and surprise her into a reaction. She beat him to it. He jumped at the slamming, shattering impact of some unidentified object smashing into his door. Her footsteps retreating downstairs were the only sound to follow, and some part of him felt almost betrayed that she hadn't said a word. He walked over to the door with a hesitancy that he disliked, opening it only to look at the remains of the broken thing on the floor. There was broken glass everywhere, and in the middle of the weeping fragments lay the back of a picture frame. He bent down to flip it over and swore at what it had been holding before its demise. The yellow sheet of legal notepaper still held year old wrinkles that no iron could completely erase. The pencil sketch stared up at him accusingly from the dark carpeting. Downstairs, he heard the hotel's front door slam. **** "Cordelia, wait!" Wesley's voice rang out over the front courtyard. Through his open window, Angel could hear their voices clearly, and he hurried over to see them, sheltering himself behind one of the dark curtains. She was halfway to her car, her bag slung over her shoulder. "Wesley, just forget it." "You can't just leave." "Whatever. I'm taking the afternoon off." "Yes, but when will you be back?" "Tomorrow morning, Wesley. I *work* here, remember?" The stress laid upon the word was not lost on either of the men who were listening. Angel watched as Wesley walked closer, his hand outstretched. "Please, don't do this." "It's done, Wesley." Her voice was cold, though Wesley was not he one who had inspired it. "You loved that picture. You wept with joy when we found out it hadn't been destroyed in the fire. You wrapped it in four layers of bubble wrap when we moved-" "That was when it meant something, Wesley. When all of this meant something. But he threw all of it away, and it's only decent of me to return the gesture." (So much broken glass, slivers embedded in the carpet...) "Cordelia, Angel's just-" "Do you remember what I said when I framed that drawing? "This, I frame for saving my life, and as a reminder that something of Doyle's is here in our office." Well, guess what, Wesley? Nothing of Doyle is still with us. There's no laughter and no goodwill and no love. Doyle is dead, and everything wonderful he ever gave to us is dead because Angel doesn't want it anymore. He doesn't want our concern and he doesn't want us, so I'm not going to cling to something that only makes the memories hurt more. The day I drew it, Angel looked at me and saw me. Not an inconvenience. I drew that picture in his apartment, on his couch. I ironed it out on his kitchen table as he made me breakfast. Now, we aren't even allowed on his floor, let alone in his room. So he can destroy himself and worry about someone who never knew how to be anything other than selfish, but I reserve the right to not care anymore." Angel watched in silence. Wesley would change her mind, make her come back- "Fair enough." She nodded, grateful for his unwavering support. "Tell Virginia I said hi when you see her tonight- I don't think I'll make it." "Well, if you change your mind, she was really hoping to see you. Think about it." She nodded. "I will. Have fun and don't worry, okay?" She kissed his cheek and left, and her back was straight because she was right. **** When Angel woke up the next morning, the glass was gone, but he smelled Wesley, and he knew that Cordelia was no longer interested in anything on the second floor. He walked downstairs, hearing her laughter, trying to convince himself that he wasn't nervous. That she had already regretted everything from the day before. "Gunn! Stop it! That tickles!" she squealed. Wesley's laughter underscored their merriment, and for a moment, everything was fine- Until they saw him. "Thanks, milady. I'd better get back to my boys." "You should really get an internet hookup at your place, Gunn. Then you could do demon searches without my help." "But then I'd never see you. Okay, I'm out- I'll call you guys later." Gunn was not as good an actor as Cordelia. There was resentment in his eyes, and he wasn't ready to pretend that nothing was wrong. But for her sake, he would say nothing. As the door closed behind him, Angel turned back to Cordelia's coolly professional face. She held out a slip of paper. "Address." The first line of the paper said "Darla and Dru's place," and he didn't even look at the address before raising his shocked eyes to her face. "Vision. Apparently the PTBs are still paying attention." She turned away, and nothing was fine, so he had to try something. "Cordelia-" He ignored the warning in her eyes and he plunged in headfirst for the second time that week. (This was no swimming pool-) It went better the first time. She didn't look at him as she cut him off. "Eleanora Fisher desperately wants me to play a new recurring character on the show 'Every Mountain.' I told her I couldn't quit my other job, but if you try to finish that sentence, she won't have to find someone else." The phone rang, and she answered it with a voice so cheerful that he was almost certain he had imagined everything. "Angel Investigations! Oh, hi, David! Thank you so much for your recommendation on that loan. You were a godsend. I might have to drop by your place later this year, wearing something slinky like, oh, say, our tax forms and a calculator." He walked upstairs to wait for darkness as she laughed in a voice that would never again be for him. **** He pretended to leave at dusk, sweeping downstairs with a grim determination. But he stayed hidden behind the door to the basement, the address in his pocket, waiting and listening, hoping. "I don't really think your new campaign is going to have constructive results, Cordelia." She snorted. "Yeah, because caring about him and being ignored did wonders. Besides, it didn't look like he minded. He's been begging us to leave him alone for months, so he can't be annoyed not that I'm doing exactly what he wanted. With Cordelia Chase, you get what you ask for." Wesley sighed, but he was past reprimanding and into commiseration. "You know," Cordelia continued, her voice sounding a bit wistful, "when I was a little girl, my mother always told me that if I ever stopped being a bitch, people would lose all respect for me. And she was right, the whole time." There was a moment of shocked silence. "Your mother told you that?" Wesley asked in a voice that ached. "Oh, yeah. Most consistently true piece of advice I've ever gotten. It happened with Xander, it happened with Angel. I'm waiting for you to treat me like crap, Wesley." Her voice was heartbreakingly light, and she wasn't joking at all. Angel peered into the room just in time to see Wesley hug her, his face soft. "I'll tell you what. Why don't I convince Virginia to get out of this museum opening tonight. You can call Gunn, even David if you like. We can order dinner in and just have fun over at your place. Play cards with Dennis, if he promises not to cheat." Her smile was another sun forbidden to their spying employer. As they walked out the front door together, he remembered driving a stake into Darla's back. He remembered hating her with a startling clarity, because he had tasted life and laughter and even love with a bright young girl and Darla had dragged him back down. She had broken his connection with something undeservedly wonderful because of her selfish belief that she owned him. Perhaps it was time to stop proving her right. ******************